Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Today Was Better

Today was much better than yesterday.  I wasn’t really sad and ate fairly healthy.  Also, although I always knew I used food as a comfort (especially when I stopped smoking 2 ½ years ago), it wasn’t until last night that I realized I used it to cloche nearly every emotion.  Yesterday, I was feeling mildly depressed and ate a ridiculous amount of food because of it.  I need to find another way of dealing with issues that arise in my life, possible by actually dealing with them head on, but let’s not jump the gun.  One thing at time!
Had a another epiphany last night (I always hesitate to use the word “epiphany” as it reminds me of The  Metamorphosis and there are no words to describe how much I hate that story and in turn Franz Kafka)  Another thing that will sound so stupid, but I really need to learn how to stop eating when I’m full.  This is sadly new teritiory for me.  For whatever reason, I often will just continue to eat until there is nothing left on my plate or I’m about to explode.  Sadly the nothing on my plate scenario usually won though.  So this is yet another new resolve.  
I’ve gone without sleeping pills for 1 week now and last night was the first night I had insomnia.  Only got about 5 hours of sleep and I started crashing a bit while I was cleaning.  Actually, I’m starting to crash again as I write this. 
I did walk today, but inside my house.  It was a little too cold for me to walk this morning so I just walked in my house.  Although, my house seems to always think it’s opposite day (You Can’t DO that on Television reference!) as the inside is freezing in the winter and hot in the summer!  But anyway, I walked my for my usual hour and fifteen minutes, but it only added up to 1.4 miles on my pedometer.  Maybe my pedometer thinks it’s opposite day too!
Breakfast:  What has become my typical.  Oatmeal sweetened with blueberries and coffee with honey and Irish Crème creamer(that seems redundant)

Lunch:  Leftovers from last night.  Half of a lemon rosemary chicken breast over whole grain brown rice, carrots, green beans, and fruit salad

Mid-Day snack: Mini Clif Chocolate Chip Peanut Cluster Bar (so good!) and a thing of 100 calorie popcorn.  I would like to say that inspite of the "24 pack", I assure you I didn't eat 24.  Sadly, only 1

Dinner:  Same as lunch, minus the fruit and plus a salad that had a little feta cheese.  Oh, it was so good.

Desserts: I had about 2/3 of the pistachio pudding (I used fat-free milk and it just wasn’t that good) and a Snackwells chocolate cereal bar (it’s like my new crack!)

Monday, January 30, 2012

Oh, Today Was Not Really All That Successfull

Well, I need to start off by explaining what I ate last night.  Don’t know why, but ate another Orange Chicken Lean Cuisine (it was the last one in the freezer and I don’t plan on refilling that order any time soon!) and a plate of nachos.  Regarding the nachos, I realize it looks like a lot, but it was sadly far less chips and cheese than usual. 

I realize that I don’t seem very animated today, but a little down and just don’t feel like being zany today.  To be honest, I just had to force myself to write this today. I also did not exercise at all today, instead staying in PJ’s all day.  It’s not a serious case of the blues, but just a little blaa right now.
I would love to say that I cooked a little today, but my crockpot did that, although I did chop a salad for dinner.
Breakfast:  Plain oatmeal sweetened with blueberries.  Oh, and I found that the new creamer I used is far sweeter than my previous, so I had to throw out my coffee and re-brew.  But it was my last k-cup (I have a Keurig coffee maker) and so I had to re-brew using the same one and it was more like coffee water, than coffee.

Lunch: Leftovers from yesterday; it was quite good.  It was skillet herbed chicken over brown rice, carrots, and green beans.

Mid-afternoon breakdown: I had two of these bowls of mini chocolate chip.  Included a Werther’s to show scale (Actually, I’ve had about 6 Werther’s throughout today.)

Dinner: Salad with lots of tomatoes and cucumbers and a little feta with a dash of light Dijon mustard dressing.  For dinner it was lemon rosemary chicken that cooked in the crockpot all day.  I had half of a chicken breast, rather than a whole one, along with a bit of brown rice, carrots, and green beans.

After dinner insanity:  half of a Lance grilled cheese cracker 6 pack, 1 full Almond & Apricot bar, and a small fry and cinnamon pecan twist from Bojangles.  Sadly, I wanted a regular fry and 2 of the cinnamon pecan twists. These are not things I’m proud of, but they are the truth.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

It's About That Time

Sadly, I have Marky Mark lyrics in my head now, which really does not make me happy! So, I was actually way happier aboot (in honor of my Canadian Mom) my weigh in results than expected.  As mentioned earlier, I know that I could have done better, but weddings are more of a weakness than I expected.  I do think it’s good to know that now, so I know what to look out for.  And thanks for the kind words over the past couple of days; much appreciated!
I didn’t exercise today, but did manage to walk all over the State museum and Wal-Mart (which feels about as big as the museum) for a combined total of 3 hours, so that is something.  Again, not as good as real walking, but I actually made a concerted effort to take the stairs at the museum (I normally take the elevator; oh yes, I was that lazy, oh yes!)
Had brunch at my favorite place to have brunch in my hometown (yup, totally have favorite restaurants in different cities and I then even subcategorize those!  And I also have favorite bakeries in different cities.), Gourmet Shop.  I switched up what I normally got.  I did not get my normal sandwich on a croissant with cheddar cheese.  I also choice a healthier alternative to the tomato, basil, feta pasta salad that I used to send my husband to buy by the pound.   I still enjoyed the crap out of that meal, but just in a healthier way.
Brunch: Medium Rare Roast Beef sandwich on multi-grain bread, with lettuce, tomato, and Dijon vinaigrette and a fruit salad.  I also had coffee and water.

Snacks I had throughout the day:  I had the mini Clif bar in between the museum and going grocery shopping(never go shopping hungry; you’re just asking for trouble!)  I later had the blood orange; I thought it would be fun to get something a little different and it was super yummy to.  Ok, need to find another word for yummy; can’t sound like Rachel Ray in any way shape or form!  I later had half of the almond and coconut bar and holy shit balls, that was just amazing!

Dinner:  Skillet Herbed chicken (of a Campbell soup can) with a little brown rice, green beans, and way over seasoned carrots.  I was pretty happy with this meal, however I have finally found that it is possible to use to much garlic, which I never thought was possible.

Dessert:  Fruit I chopped up earlier: strawberries, blueberries, and honeydew.

This Week's Weigh-In....

….And it’s not as bad as I thought it was going to be.  I know that I would have lost a little more had it not been for Wedding Cake Gate 2012, but that’s ok.  I still lost 2 pounds since last week and plan on keeping it up for next week!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

So Not Looking Forward To Weigh-In Tomorrow

Well I attempted to be good today (notice attempted).  I did my exercises today, except for walking (lifting weights and doing sit-ups), I ate a sensible breakfast, ate a slightly larger lunch to try to overcome temptation of the wedding buffet.   The wedding was a little rough for me and I would love to say that’s why I ate far more food than I intended, but I just don’t have self-control when it comes to a buffet of food, at least yet.  I know that I can’t buy Lean Cuisine Orange Chicken (I still have one left from a shopping trip a couple of weeks ago) as there is no telling how many I will eat.  I now know that I need a better sort of game plan in regards to dealing with a buffet.  I think one day I will be strong enough to be normal, but I’m just not quite there yet.  I sort of have to re-program myself as I have been thinking about food in a completely different way for the past 32 years.  
I wrote this previous bit before I had dinner at a friend’s house.  Turns out, I just didn’t have any self-control today at all!  Haven’t had BBQ in a while and this was some of the best BBQ I’ve had in a very long time.  Way to go Bryan! 
I have also come to the sad conclusion I’m starting to sound like a Cathy Comic, which is totally unacceptable.  I am totally ok with being fat, but not ok in any way shape or form in being anything like a “Cathy” kind of person.  Well, I now have another resolution. 
Breakfast:  Oatmeal that is sweetened with blueberries and my usual coffee

Lunch:  I actually didn’t eat all of this by a long shot.  I only ate about ¾ of both my Lean Cuisine Grilled Chicken Primavera and my broccoli.  I also didn’t eat my clementine that’s in the picture.

Wedding Food: This was the beginning of the end of today!  I wanted to try and eat a little extra lunch so I wouldn’t eat the whole buffet.  Sadly, this didn’t happen.  Don’t have pictures, but will be honest about everything, so here goes.  A little butter, cheese, and bacon on mashed potatoes that was probably about a standard size you would get as a side item at a steak house.  4 Swedish meatballs and 4 cocktail weenies, 1 spring roll, 3 little bits of sesame chicken, about 2 tablespoons worth of hummus and celery and carrots, and 4 cubes of cheese.  I only had one piece of wedding cake (incidentally, it was some of the best wedding cake I have had ever!)  I did drink water, which really makes up for jack shit.

Dinner:  Serious, I was just out of control today, but it was so good.  I had vinegar based BBQ, with 2 rolls (should have only had 1!), corn on the bob, baked beans (I did at least resist the temptation of one of the strips of bacon that had been cooking with it and that was very hard to do), and potatoes with Greek seasoning on them.  I ate everything on that plate except for about half of the potatoes and corn and fullness was the only thing that stopped that.  I also had sweet tea, which I haven’t had in about a month.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Well as I type this, my body is aching from exercise; it is so not use to this. Although I did do a lot of walking during student teaching, it was just different, plus it was almost 2 months ago. Today I didn’t walk as much today, 2.75 miles rather than 3 miles, but still better than nothing.  I say it that way as I really do want to either increase or stay steady with the amount of exercising while I’m not working.  I also did the stair steps thing on my porch and there was actually traffic on my street this time.  Luckily I have given up caring if people think I’m a dork or weirdo a long time ago; my favorite Muppet has been Gonzo since I was around 6.
 I am already calling it now that I won’t be walking tomorrow, but will still like to get in some situps, time with weights, and stair steps.  Going to a wedding tomorrow, where I will again meet my arch nemesis, wedding cake.  DEAR GOD THERE IS NOTHING MORE DELICIOUS IN THIS WORLD THAN WEDDING CAKE!!!  Goal for tomorrow, apart from exercise, is only one piece rather than my traditional 2 or 3.  Yup, I said 2 or 3 totally unflinching!  My husband totally knows the drill on this during weddings and a friend suggested a while back that we have a champagne and wedding cake party, which I am still totally down for, just in moderation!
Another trick I have just tried and seems to be working in the war on slowing down to eat and getting enough water is to actually stop and take a sip or gulp of water after every or every other bite.  I realize this sounds absurd, but it seems to work thus far.
Breakfast:  Honey Nut Cheerios, with blueberries and skim milk.  Coffee with honey and Amartto (SHOCKING!) creamer.

Lunch:  The last of the chicken curry leftovers; still quite good.  Also a huge amount of broccoli and a clementine.

Dinner:  Outback; I decided to go to there.  I did have all the things I wanted, but in a much healthier way.  Instead of the whole loaf of bread, slathered in butter, I had a small piece with a little butter.  I had a side salad with no croutons and half of what they would normally put on as cheese and dressing.  My steak was a 6 oz. rather than the usually 9 oz. and I had steamed green beans (with no butter) instead of my usual loaded baked potato.  Although I did sneak a small bite of hubby pants mashed potatoes.

Dessert:  My husband and I split the smaller version of the standard portion of a chocolate covered brownie.  Although it was exceptionally hard, I let him have the majority of the brownie, but oh dear god, I enjoyed what I did eat.

I Actually Feel Like I'm Starting To Change, But In A Good Way

So yesterday was successful in a myriad of ways! I finally decided give exercise the attention it needs.  I worked out for about 1 and 15 minutes.   I realize once I have a job, I won’t be able to devout that much time to it, but I’m a creative broad and will figure something out!  I walked in the park near my house for about 1 hour or 3 miles.  Yup, lots of loud music that I lip sync to as I go.  I hope that someone was entertained by my dorkiness of doing this!  I then got back to my house and did the stair step thing on the steps of my porch.  And my neighbors where home and I’m sure thinking, “What in the hell is she doing?” And while my lunch was heating up, did 50 reps of 3 different exercises with weights for my arms; sadly I didn’t get cab fare after I was finished though. Yeah, still obsessed with South Park too.
I also have tried to implement new tricks to help with this whole crazy process of being healthier and smarter about eating.  I used to scarf down food in record time and consumption.  However now, I am slowing down; a suggestion I have heard from a multitude of sources.  I set a goal of stretching eating lunch into 20 minutes.  This may sound easy and maybe for some, but not more me!  I probably used to take around 7 minutes, if that.  Well yesterday I didn’t quite reach my goal of eating in 20 minutes, but stretched it to 17 minutes a I’m quite happy about that.  Another weird trick that has helped me:  Using a salad fork rather than a dinner fork or tea spoon, rather than a soup spoon.  Sounds silly but it makes sense.  I used to pile food on to one of those utensils, rather than taking small, slower bites.  Also, since I can’t fit as much food on there, it takes me longer and stretches that meal out.
Still no sleeping pills (YEA!!!!!!!!!).  It’s been 5 nights and I actually feel good.  Seriously never thought this would happen.
I also wanted to say a thank you to those who read my insanity and are kind enough to shoot me an e-mail.  Sounds cheesy but I don’t care; you guys have kept me going on a couple of days were I wanted to give up.  And yes, give up already when it’s only been less than a month, but there have been those moments.  So thank you lovelies! 
Breakfast: Oatmeal with a lot of blueberries and coffee made the usual way.  There are so many blueberries because I used that as a way to not only get in some fruit, but also to sweeten my oatmeal. Regarding why it looks so messy and why there isn’t that much: my oatmeal kind of had a lava-like explosion in the microwave. 

Lunch: Lean Cuisine Peanut Chicken (one of my favorites!!!) with what was left of the green beans to get a little more veggies, and my crazy inadvertent applesauce.  I actually spooned out WAY too much, so I only ate half of the applesauce for lunch.

Dinner:  Again, like I have said since I started this, I refuse to give up everything I love to lose weight and get healthier, but I will cut back and try to do things in moderation. I was sick of leftovers, and I wanted a cheeseburger!  But, I got lettuce, which I normally never got on a burger and didn’t get fries or an order of hushpuppies that I so desperately wanted.  Instead, I made a bowl full of steamed broccoli and had the rest of my applesauce from lunch as side dishes.  I did have 2 hushpuppies from my husband’s order (1 is pictured).

Snacks that went until late in the night:  A bowl of strawberries, 1 bowl of 100 hundred calorie popcorn, and the Lean Cuisine Orange Chicken did make a re-appearance last night.  At least this time it was only one.  I also have resolved to not buy any more of those as sadly I cannot be trusted with them, at least not yet.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Oh, It Keeps Getting Better!

Today was also a great day!  I know that I started this blog to talk about food/weight loss/getting in better shape, but it has naturally already morphed a little to include mind and spirit, along with body.   It sounds so freaking cheesy, but by just starting writing this every day, I feel like I have taken control of my life.  Going off of sleeping pills is something I never thought I could do, but it has gone pretty well so far!  I know there will be those times where something big is happening the next day and I need to get a good, guaranteed night’s sleep and  I will take it then.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with taking them sometimes. But they weren’t designed to be taken for 14 years, at least I don’t think so. 
I got caught up applying for jobs (some of them have a simulated scenarios question session that can take up to an hour!) and folding laundry (months’ worth that have been laundered, used, re-laundered, and sitting in a basket in my laundry room!) so I didn’t exercise.  However, I have decided that I need to make exercise more of a priority and do it in the morning so I won’t get distracted. I call my distractions the Big Shiny Red Ball Syndrome.  This is where you are talking and see something shiny or moving and totally lose your train of thought or become so distracted that you forget there is something you need to do.  I hope to not suffer from this damn affliction anymore!
Happy to report not much late night snacking.  A very small amount of chocolate chips and a very, very small bowl of the baked chicken curry.  Sadly, this is a vast improvement so I’m going with it!
I also drank the recommended 64 ounces of water today!  Right now, it’s the small victories in life that are making me happy!
Breakfast: Properly portioned out Honey Nut Cheerios with fat-free milk and coffee with one teaspoon of both honey and Amaretto creamer (I love almonds and anything almond flavored so much!).  I had originally wanted to make oatmeal as I just bought fresh strawberries and blueberries, but just didn’t have the energy this morning, due to the new sleeping schedule.  Yes, I didn’t have energy to make instant fat-free oatmeal; that’s just sad!

Lunch: Leftovers from last night’s dinner.  Baked Chicken Curry with brown rice, green beans, and steamed broccoli (it’s sad, but as much as I love eating broccoli, I don’t know how to spell it!  My spell check has to correct me every time!)

Snack/Lunch Dessert/Fruit: Weird inadvertent home-made apple sauce.  It’s inadvertent as it was meant to be baked apples, but apparently they were overbaked and turned into mush.  That’s ok; it’s still really good and I like the chopped walnuts and raisins that give it a good and different texture than normal applesauce.

Dessert:  Yup, not only did I have a donut, but I had it before dinner.  Take that mom!  I have no problem that I did this, because I only 1 instead of the 3 or 4 I could easily eat.  And I savored each bite of that new flavor of dark chocolate iced glazed.  Krispy Kreme are truly amazing as the manage to combine to amazing loves of my life: yeast rolls and glaze!  Argue all you want, but Krispy Kreme’s are just yeast rolls dipped in delicious sugar.  But I digress, the TV was on a lot today while I was looking, applying for jobs, and folding laundry and oddly enough, people were eating donuts a lot on TV today.  Yeah, I can be easily lead to buy food as I was today.

Dinner:  Leftovers again, but I was ok with it.  I really do enjoy that baked chicken curry.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Oh, It's a Good Day!

So a random fact about me; I have horrible insomnia and because of that and long ago, while was an assistant manager I used to have to run weekly stock crews that began at 3 in the morning, I had not slept without the aid of a sleeping pill for over 14 years.  It was primarily over the counter medication, but occasionally I would also need to take a stronger prescription; Ambien was always guaranteed to work!  However I am happy to report that for the past two days, I have taken nothing.  Granted, I didn’t fall asleep until at least 4 in the morning, but I am hopeful that I will be able to reset my clock and actually be able to sleep like a normal person.
I mentioned all of that as I didn’t have a chance to “normal” exercise.  I had appointments and errands that I needed to run today and woke up later than I would have liked due to the not falling asleep until 5 this morning.  And it sucks, because today was gorgeous; it’s almost criminal that it was sunny and 70 degrees in January!  But I had sort of a creative solution to the non-normal exercise.  It would be my normal inclination to park as close as possible to whatever store I was going to.  However, today I parked quite far away, so at least I could get a little extra walking in!  That’s actually what this blog is all about; that I needed to change the way I looked at food and exercise.  I don’t want this to be a quick fix as those never work.  I want to do this for the long hall.
I also haven’t been drinking enough water.  All I generally have is coffee in the morning and water throughout the day, but I haven’t been drinking enough and when I do, I just feel better.  Although I get super tired of hitting the ladies room what feels like every 30 minutes, but it’s still worth it.
Oh, and I did snack a little last night with a handful of lime tortilla chips and a handful of chocolate chips, although not at the same time.  That would just be gross!
Breakfast:  As I woke up late this morning and didn’t want to be late for my appointment, I had Honey Nut Cherrios in fat-free milk.  I actually measured it out to get the proper portions again.  I also had my coffee (god I needed it this morning!) with 1 teaspoon of sugar (ran out of honey, but bought some today) and Amaretto creamer.

Lunch:  Had a very late lunch, but I thought I would mix it up with a Lean Cuisine Ginger Garlic Stir Fry with Chicken and a clementine.  It was nice and light.

Snack:  I ate half of a Clif Oatmeal Raisin Walnut Bar.  I liked the fact that it gave me a decent amount of protein to keep me going, without a crazy amount of calories. I had to take a close-up picture of the super rad plate my Mom got me; yeah, she’s a great lady!

Dinner:  As a good friend often says, HOLY JUNK!  Oh dear god I was so happy with what I made for dinner tonight!  I had a salad with a little feta (cheese truly makes everything better!) and a little bit of reduced calorie balsamic dressing.  And then, the amazingness started.  I had steamed broccoli and sesame green beans (I will use far less sesame seeds next time) and the pièce de résistance, the chicken curry.  Even though that was the title of the recipe, it really wasn’t a curry to me, but it was still amazing.  It used brown nice instead of white, chicken breast instead of chicken thigh and used no creams, butter, or oil.  So flavorful and still pretty good for me, yeah it’s now a regular in my household!

Dessert:  Well that was interesting to say the least.  I made low-calorie baked apples, but when I took it out of the oven(it was in there for 45 minutes) it had turned into applesauce.  But it was still yummy different applesauce as it had cinnamon, chopped walnuts, golden raisins, and dried cranberries.